Nightmare on Turtle Street
by x-StarshineWeirdo-x
Summary: Have you ever had a dream where evrything that happends to you seems so real? The turtles have now! Just a fun little humor, first chapter deals with Raph and Barbies... PLEASE R
1. Barbie World

Nightmare on Turtle Street  
  
A/N: I don't own turtles or any of its characters. Believe me, If I did, I would have April and Casey is married with five children and a dog named Fred. Plus, I would marry Donatello, and I would set my sister up with Raphael so he can have someone beat on him... believe me, she could too. Mirage and 4 kids entertainment owns them, not I. (based on ideas of myself and my sister, who is a nut so [pyrodescropio])  
  
~! @#$%^&*()_+  
  
Chapter 1  
  
The day was long and cold. It was 5:00 in the afternoon, and people were fighting to get home in time for supper or to catch some great mid-day sitcoms on Fox ^_^. Underneath the Manhattan afternoon life lay four turtles, moseying around their underground turtle Haven. Four living breathing mutant turtles, who were taught by a giant rat.  
  
"Are you kidding me? Carolina is so going to beat New England easy next Sunday. Their going to wish they were never born!"  
  
"New England is the best team there is, bro. The best of the best in the AFC!!!! Puh-lease, they'll beat those little kitty cats easy!"  
  
Raph sighed and rolled his eyes. When it came to football, Mikey knew nothing. "Sometimes I wonder about you, Mikey..."  
  
"Whatever. Where are Leo and Don? Maybe they should put their bets in."  
  
"I'm voting for Carolina!" came a voice from across the room. Raph and Mike both looked over to see it was Don peering up from his computer. "Obvious their Offense is unstoppable, and their defense is phenomenal."  
  
"Ha! Beat that patriot boy!"  
  
"I actually think New England will win the Super Bowl this year, guys."  
  
All three turtles looked over to see Leonardo enter the room with both Katana's in his hands. They then noticed that there was red liquid dripping off from it, which looked a lot like...  
  
"LEO!!! THERE'S BLOOD ON YOUR KATANA'S!!! EEPP!!!"  
  
Leo looked at Mikey, and then at his Katana. "Oh. I was chopping up some strawberries for master splinter. You know how he likes his strawberries." (I'm not sure if Splinter likes strawberries. If he doesn't, he does now!)  
  
"Oh, well, that's a relief. I knew you were too cool to do something rash like kill master splinter." Mikey said, grinning.  
  
"Stupid Leo. The patriots suck! Now the Panther are the best football team ever on the planet!" Raph placed his feet on top of the coffee table, and sighed again. "We can have this debate next Sunday. I think that there's college basketball on channel 11!"  
  
Raph turned the TV's on and flipped to the game. Little did Raph know that the next commercial break would change him forever.  
  
~! @#$%^&*()_+  
  
Raph got up from his place on the couch and went to the fridge. It was half time, and he needed some serious munchies. Just then he heard his younger brother, Michelangelo, call for him.  
  
"HEY! RAPH!!! COME HERE!!!"  
  
Raph sighed, and stalked over to where Mikey's room was. He peered in with an Evil grin, and with a snarl, asked: "What?"  
  
"Check it out bro! It's Barbie and Ken!!!" Mike held the dolls up so Raph could get a good look at them. Personally, Raph wanted to throw those things against the walls.  
  
"'Oh, Ken! You're so handsome! Please let me kiss you!' 'Oh, Barbie, your hair is so shiny, I just want to touch it!' 'Oh ken!' 'Barbie!'"  
  
"HEY! I have an idea. How about we just shut up so I can go back to watching my game, how 'bout that?"  
  
Mikey stared at him, and then his face grew angry. "FINE!!! Barbie and Ken don't need you anyway!"  
  
Raph rolled his eyes, and he sat back down on the couch. The game wasn't really back on it; they were still showing highlights from the first half. Raph slumped down into the couch, and, he was getting tired. He rubbed his eyes, and slumped down even more. He then felt his eyes grow heavy, and he dosed off into the weirdest dream he'll ever have.  
  
~! @#$%^&*()_+  
  
"Ken! KEN!!!! Are you here, Ken?"  
  
Raph opened his eyes, and slowly got up. He rubbed his head, and thought that he must have really dosed off for a bit. He opened his eyes, and noticed that he wasn't in the Lair anymore.  
  
"WHAT THE HELL!?!" He shoot up from his position on the couch and looked around. Everything was, plastic. He roamed around the room, trying to find a way out of the plastic prison. Just then, he saw someone come into the room. It was the shredder! "What the hell are you doing here, nut so!?!"  
  
The shredder looked like he was about to cry at the comment that Raphael made to him. He regained his composure, and called out to someone, "BARBIE!!! YOUR SISTER JUST CURSED AT ME!!!!!"  
  
"Huh?" Raph stood there, baffled. What the hell was he talking about. Just then a womanly figure came into the room, and they put a hand on the shredders shoulder. That women looked a lot like, APRIL!?!  
  
"Now, really Ken. Kelly doesn't know any bad words, do you Kelly?"  
  
"What the hell are you talking about?" Asked Raph, now totally and utterly confused.  
  
April staggered back, and gasped. "KELLY!!! Where did you learn that word?"  
  
"She also called me a nut so!" Shredder put his hands in his head, and sobbed, "I ONLY.... WANTED TO PLAY PIGGY.... BBBBBAAACCCCCCCKKKKKKK!!!!!"  
  
Raph wanted to puke. He then noticed something. He looked down, and he noticed that he was wearing a dress. A DRESS!?!?!?!? He also could feel something on the top of his hair. He felt it, and part of it looped around his shoulder. He had BLONDE HAIR!?!  
  
"WHAT THE FREAKIN HELL!?!?!"  
  
"That's it, Kelly!!!! It's off to bed with you!" April walked over, and picked Raphael up like a child! Wait, how could April pick him up!?! He felt himself be carried into a different room. A room with pink walls, with white flowers and porcelain dolls all over the place. It was official. Raph was in hell.  
  
"Now, You stay here and think about what you've said, young lady!!! Now, your uncle Ken and I are going to go out and eat. I'm going to have Skipper look after you while I'm gone."  
  
"You do know, that that airhead out there isn't my uncle, or, um, Kelly's uncle. He's your freaking boyfriend. Plus, Your not my freaking mother, I mean, Kelly's freaking Mother.... your her sister, and I, um, she..."  
  
"That's enough Kelly! Now sit here and think about what you've done.... Jeez.... you've grown over the past few minutes..." Just then, the shredder walked in, wearing a suit over his metal suit, which was hilarious. Raph tried not to laugh, but little snorts came out. April glared at him, and smiled sweetly at the Shredder. "Ready to go, Kenny Wenny?"  
  
Raph then totally lost it. He exploded with laughter, and was at the point of where he couldn't breathe. April looped her arm around the shredders, and whispered loud enough for the whole world to hear: "I think she's gone insane..."  
  
~! @#$%^&*()_+  
  
SNEAK PEEK OF CHAPTER TWO:  
  
Michelangelo was cornered and he faced the greatest challenge of all.  
  
"Stay away you sick, purple thing!" screamed Mikey.  
  
"C'mon Mikey, let's play!" screeched Tinky Winky as he launched himself towards the frightened turtle.  
  
Hey guys, sorry for the short and totally weird chapter. I hope you guys like, and please review. If ya do, I promise to write some more... Who knew the Shredder had a striking resemblance to Ken... well the Asian Ken that is. LOL. 


	2. Sneezes, Purses, and Piggy Banks

Nightmare on Turtle Street  
  
A/N: I don't own turtles or any of its characters. Believe me, If I did, I would have April and Casey is married with five children and a dog named Fred. Plus, I would marry Donatello, and I would set my sister up with Raphael so he can have someone beat on him... believe me, she could too. Mirage and 4 kids entertainment owns them, not I. (based on ideas of myself and my sister, who is a nut so [pyrodescropio])  
  
! #$%&()  
  
Chapter Two  
  
Mikey yawned as he walked into the livingroom. Two hours of playing with Barbie and Ken wore him out. He crept into the entertainment area, and smirked as he saw Raph with his arms flailing into the air. He giggled, and moved closer. Raph was mumbling something, and Mikey leaned his head in to see what it was. He heard the words, 'I'm not Kelly!' and something about Ken and Barbie. Mikey chuckled at the comments, but then, one of Raph's hands went sailing to his side, hitting Mikey hard in the head.  
  
"Oww!!!!" Mike held his head, and he fell to the floor. It felt like he had been knocked out, and he saw the room go black. When he opened his eyes, he saw himself somewhere... peaceful. There was green grassy hills all over the place, and little pink, yellow, and blue flowers were popping out all over the place. He looked up to the sky, and could see a bright, beautiful sun high above. He looked closely, and he thought he saw a face of a baby in the beautiful rays. His eyes grew big and bright.... He was in heaven.  
  
Mikey picked himself up from the ground, and he looked around the place. He walked up a few hills, which seemed like bunny hills to him. He then saw off into the distance what seemed like a little house. It looked like it was in the ground, like one of those Hobbit houses in the Lord of the Rings.  
  
"Hobbits? I LOVE HOBBITS!!!" Mikey skipped merrily to the what he thought, a little hobbits house. When he got there, he saw that there wasn't any doors leading inside. It was just, there. Mikey eyed it like it was something strange. Then, all of a sudden, the ground opened from above him. Mike squealed and moved away from the hole. He looked in amazement as as 4 little creatures came up from the ground. They looked like little Marshens with shapes on their heads, each one with a different color. One was red, the other was yellow, another was green, and the tallest one was purple. Mikey grinned, and thought that they looked really cute. He waltzed over to them, and waved. "Hey, little guys! How's it hangin, dudes?"  
  
The four marshens jumped, and they turned around to see Mikey walking up to him, waving, wearing a smile. They looked at each other, and they thought he was surely something stange, like a monster! They shook their heads, and started to run around in circles, each screaming monster.  
  
"Whoa! Hold it little dudes! I'm not a monster! I'm just an overgrown turtle is all!"  
  
The four marshens stopped running around in circles, and they all looked at the turtle in amazement now. They started to whisper to each other, and then they looked back at Michelangelo. The smallest one them all started to cautiosly walk toward Mikey.  
  
"Hey little one! My name is Michelangelo. You can call me Mikey, though. What's yours?" Mikey extended an arm out to the little marshen, and it just stared in wonder.  
  
"Poe!" It said very forcefully.  
  
"Oh, bless you little dude!"  
  
Poe shook his head and frowned. "Poe!!"  
  
"Wow, do you have allergies or something??" Mikey said, searching in his shell for a Kleenex.  
  
The little marshen got angry, and screamed, "POE!!!!!" It then smaked Mikey in the leg, which left a stinging mark.  
  
"OWWW!!!! HEY YOU LITTLE STUPID..."  
  
"Poe didn't mean it, Mr. Turtle. She never really does. She doesn't like strangers that well."  
  
Mikey turned his head to see the yellow one walk up to him. when he extended an arm up, Mikey lept back. The yellow marshen shook his head, and introduced himself. "I'm La La! The little red girl over there is Poe.... you've meet her. That's Dipsy, and That's Tinky Winky."  
  
Mike moved his head over to where both Dipsy and Tinky was waving at him. Mike waved cautiously back over there way, and looked back at La La, or whomever the hell this was.  
  
"Look little, eh... thing, I'm just going to go over that extremely fake hill over there, and I'm going to get out of here, if that's alright with you." Mikey stood up straight, and casually walked over to where the big fake hill was. Except, when Mikey started to walk towards it, he suddenly smaked into something. He stood alert with his kun-chucks out. "Who's there? I'm not afriad of you, come out come out wherever you are!!"  
  
Except, when Michelangelo looked around, all he saw was La La, Dipsy, Poe, and Tinky Winky. He put his hand over the invisible force field, but then suddenly realise there was no force field.  
  
"There's a wall here... What the..." He looked over back at the Telletubbies and saw that they were getting closer to him. "Uh, dudes, whatcha doin?"  
  
"There's no way out...giggle, Mr. Turtle... giggle. You're stuck with us giggle, and you know, giggle Giggle It won't be sooooooo giggle bad..."  
  
Mikey looked at Tinky Winky like an anchovie pizza. He crept over towards the other side, and then made a run for it. He ran as fast as his turtle feet could carry him.  
  
SLAM!!!  
  
Another wall.  
  
"OWE!! GOD DAMN WALLS!!!!"  
  
"That wasn't very nice of you to say, Mr. Turtle..."  
  
Mikey turned around to see the four of them, looking at him, all four not out of breath, and looking like he was the one that was the psyco.  
  
"LOOK!!! Just, Just stay away!!" Mikey slid by again and ran to another side of the room. Wall. He dahsed for the other. Wall. He was out of breath, with a huge bump on his nose. He had enough of this. He punched the stupid wall so hard, he felt vibrations through his body. He yelped in pain and held onto his knuckles, which were badly bruised and cut.  
  
"Like I said, giggle, there is no way out, giggle giggle, so now were going to, giggle, sit and play... giggle"  
  
"STOP GIGGLING YOU LITTLE FREAK!!!"  
  
Michelangelo could clearly see that he had hurt Tiny Winky's feelings, and could see him fuming. "That's, like, IT! I had, like, enough with this guy... I'm going to like, GET IT OVER WITH!!!!" Tinky Winky threw his purse down and tried to make fists with his weirdo little hands. The others joined in, with their freakish hands bawled up into fists as well.  
  
Michelangelo was cornered and he faced the greatest challenge of all.  
  
"Stay away you sick, purple thing!" screamed Mikey.  
  
"C'mon Mikey, let's play!" screeched Tinky Winky as he launched himself towards the frightened turtle.  
  
{I'm a barie girl! in the barbie WOOORRLDDD Made of plastic, It's fantastic!}  
  
Raphael was going INSANE!!!! He was ready to get out of this trap that April and Shredder had him into and beat the hell out of both of them. They had magically managed to put him into a straight jacket and had gaged him. "Barbie and Ken" were now getting it on in the next room while blaring Barbie Girl by Aqua. Raph wanted to find something, ANYTHING, to just kill himself. It was bad enough that barbie and ken looked like April and Shredder, but them actually getting it on in the next room, with little wittle Kelly Welly in the next room was innapropriate.  
  
"Who the hell are you calling 'Kelly Welly!?!?'"  
  
Sorry.Anywho, thinking fast, Raphael searched for something to cut the ropes and gag with. He didn't have his sais, so that was a no go. He searched the room for SOMETHING that could set him free from this Barbie hell!! He scanned the room until his eyes meet a small white-red poka dotted piggy bank. Raphael stood up carefully (stupid ppl didn't even tie his feet down) and walked over to the dresser. He bumped the bank with his shoulders as it came crashing down, shattering into little pieces. He started to peirce the jacket off himself with the bank shards until he was free. He dusted his dress off (He can't seem to figure out how to get that thing off) and evened out his hair (or that). He creapt out into the hallway, and quietly left Kelly's room.  
  
"Oh Ken! Do some more Hankey Pankey!!!"  
  
Raphael shuttered and felt like barfing. He needed to get out of this pink nightmare, and FAST!!  
  
Preview to Chapter 3:  
  
Leo slowly opened his eyes and rubbed his head. He must of hit it pretty hard, because he wasn't even in the lair anymore. He got off the couch he was laying on and looked around. He's seen this neat little cozy living room befrore, but he couldn't put his finger on it.  
  
All of a sudden, a little girl, around 3 or 4, skipped into the room. She gasped when she saw a strange 5 foot turtle in her living room.  
  
"Ah oh... your in big trouble, Mr.!!!!"  
  
Ha ha, this chapter kinda suked... I was running out of ideas for Raph & it was short!!! !!!! I know none of the names to the TT so sorry if I mixed some up.... :P Anywho, thanks for all who reviewed to the story.... sorry, i can't kill the telletubbies yet... LOL!!!! I actually like the song Barbie girl, but it seemed appropriate... It was 13 on vh1's 50 most annoying songs ever list... wonder why... LOL!!! Plz R&R!!! (if you don't get where Leo is, just wait till next chappie... when i have time to write it...) 


	3. Insanity, pole Dancing, & EVIL BARBIE!

-1**Nightmare on Turtle Street**

A/N: I don't own turtles or any of its characters. Believe me, If I did, I would have April and Casey is married with five children and a dog named Fred. Plus, I would marry Donatello, and I would set my sister up with Raphael so he can have someone beat on him... believe me, she could too. Mirage and 4 kids entertainment owns them, not I.

! #$&()

_Chapter Three_

Leo walked in the main living area and began to stretch. He had training with Mater Splinter in a few minutes, and he wanted to be on the top of his game for this sparring match. He sighed in disgrace as he watched his two brothers, stammering and yelling in their sleep. He crept past them and was on his way to the dojo when something caught hold of him.

"What the…"

"No… Tinky Winky, please, stop… I'll play, I'll play, honest… AHHH!" Leo grunted in displeasure as he tried to pry Mikey's hands off his foot.

"Mikey, let go!" He tried to pry and push his way out, and when he finally did he stammered backwards, falling back and hitting his head on an end table. His whole world went black, and then a white flash bright him back to consciousness.

Leo slowly opened his eyes and rubbed his head. He must of hit it pretty hard, because he wasn't even in the lair anymore. He got off the couch he was laying on and looked around. He's seen this neat little cozy living room before, but he couldn't put his finger on it.

All of a sudden, a little girl, around 3 or 4, skipped into the room. She gasped when she saw a strange 5 foot turtle in her living room.

"Ah oh... your in big trouble, Mr.!!!!"

"Excuse me?" Leo looked at the girl, and then realized where he was. He was on the set of Full House, or at least, it looked like the set. Except there were no camera's, no production crews, no director, and no guy pushing buttons for the fake audience. There's was nothing but him and little Michelle Tanner.

"I'm going to tell my Daddy and Uncle Joey, and Uncle Jesse, and Stephanie, and DJ, and Aunt Becky, and Comet to!!"

"Why would you tell you're dog?"

"CAUSE I CAN, DON'T QUESTION ME!" Michelle turned and ran towards the kitchen, and Leo got frightened.

"Wait, Michelle, stop!"

Michelle stopped in her tracks and turned slowly around.

"How'd you know my name?"

"Because, this, this isn't real. You are a fictional character on a television show and now I'm just hallucinating because I hit my head, really, really hard."

"You crazy."

Just then a roar of laughter came out of no where, which startled the hell out of him. He turned his attention back to Michelle, who had now left. Leo groaned in frustration as he tried to find a way out. All of the sudden a door swung open as three girls entered the room.

"Give it up, Gibbler. The day an actual guy goes out with you is the day when pigs fly."

"Shut it squirt, I just happen to have a date for night Friday night…"

"With who, Attila the Hun?" More laughter broke out around Leonardo as he stood there, totally unaware of what to do. DJ, Stephanie, and Kimi were now aware of his presence, and they just smiled at him.

"Hey Uncle Joey, do you know where dad is? I wanted to go and spend the night at Kimi's tonight."

"Wait…what?"

"See daddy, there he is! He's a giant turtle!" Leo turned his attention back over to Michelle, who had just entered with her father, Danny Tanner. Danny looked around the room, and then back at Michelle.

"Sweetie, what did I tell you about telling tales… didn't we already have this conversation?"

"Are you SERIOUS?!" The little girl was about to blow a gasket as she walked over to Leo. "I am standing right next him. See, he's GREEN!"

"Only when he's sick honey, which is about every time we go out for Chinese food… or when he looses $500 in a bet." A small roar of laughter rumbled through the room as Leo was trying to comprehend what was going on. Everyone but Michelle thought he was Joey.

"Um, excuse me but, I'm not Joey. I'm Leonardo, and I woke up here. I think I'm dreaming, but, it certainly seems real…"

"See! I told you so, I told you so, I told you SO!"

"Um, OK, I don't know what you two are up to, so I'll just play right a long with it. OK Leonardo, let's go get Donatello, Raphael, and Michelangelo and go spar. Later we can find a hot reporter named April and a huge rat named Splinter and eat some Pizza, dude." Everyone around Danny laughed, that is, everyone but Michelle and Leonardo. Michelle was just aggravated, but Leo was confused. How did Danny Tanner know of his family? His expression turned evil as he picked Danny up and pinned him against the wall.

"Shredder! I know you're behind this, where are my brothers, where am I!?"

"Joey, Joey calm down! I-I… JESSIE!!!"

The door swung open as Jessie and Becky bolted through the door.

"Whoa, Joseph, what the heck are you doing?"

"I-AM-NOT-JOEY-YOU-IDIOTS!"

"He's a giant green turtle, AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO SEES THIS PEOPLE!?"

Leonardo let Danny down as he stumbled to the couch. He slumped his hands over his head and shook the confusion that seemed to be filling his brain. Stephanie, as well as DJ and Uncle Jessie, crept over and put a hand on his back.

"Are you ok, Uncle Joey? Maybe you want to talk about it."

Some sappy music suddenly came on as Leonardo peaked through his hands. He let out a long agitated and miserable grunt as he placed a pillow over his head and screamed. A few curse words slipped out, as their faces grew wide with surprise. Stephanie crossed her arms and looked at her older sister.

"He could at least have the courtesy to keep those words to himself. How Rude."

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Michelangelo struggled in his spot as he felt ropes tie his wrists and ankles together. He shuddered in fear as the four Telletubbies drew in closer to him.

"OK LALA, HIT IT!"

All of the sudden this pulsing music coursed through the room, as a disco ball came out of the ceiling. The room grew completely dark, with the excpetion of the disco ball lights and a few other spot lights, as the four Telletubbies got in formation and started to dance. Michelangelo's mouth fell open in horror as poles jutted out from the ground. He watched as Tinky Winky and Poe twirled and glided their way down, as La La and Dipsy got out shot glasses and some Tequila.

"Wait, WHOA WHOA WHOA! You guys do shots? What the hell man?"

"It's how we unwind, my green brotha!" Michelangelo was truly scared now for his life as he tried to crawl away. He wouldn't get far, but at least he could try and escape.

"Hey Mikey, let's play guess the smell!!! Come on, Come on!!"

Mikey fastened his pace, looking like a caterpillar as he wiggle around on his Stomach. Tinky Winky stopped in front of him, as he inhaled what looked like pot.

"C'mon, Michelangelo. Poe's got a good one, and, hey, I'll like, give you a hint," Tinky Winky lowered towards Mickey's face and whispered, "It's a type of fluid…"

"NNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

-----------------------------------------------

"NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOO!!!! GET YOUR SICK AND PERVERTED HANDS OFF OF ME!!" Raphael screamed as he tried to run away from Shredder and April, AKA Barbie and ken.

"Skipper, stop this insanity right now! I said you need a bath, so you're getting a bath!"

Raphael could feel the sweat dripping down his face as he was pushed into a corner. There was no way out of this plastic hell, and he definitely didn't want Shredder and April rubbing all over him with soap and water. He shuddered as anger filled his head.

"Alright, you wanna play, I'LL PLAY!!" Raphael charged forward and jumped kicked shredder in the face. Raph turned and landed watching in amusement as Shredder's head popped off his body and rolled around the floor.

"OH MY GOD, KEN!" April/Barbie hurried by Shredder's side as she frantically tried to pop his head back on. Raphael started to laugh as he help his sides and pointed at the scene before him. April finally got Shredder's head back on, as Raph fell to the floor, holding his sides. April placed her hands at her side, and tapped her foot in agitation.

"That is IT MISSY! Fell the wrath of BARBIE!" All of the sudden the room got dark, as the walls were painted with a red light. In place of April was a girl, with dark black hair, makeup, and pure blood nails. Ken's appearance looked similar, but he had black nails instead of red. Raph muttered an "Oh Crap" under his breath as he ran away from the Duo, fearing for his life.

"CRRRUUUUDDDD!!!"

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**NEXT CHAPTER**

"LOOK EDDY, I FOUND A GIANT TURTLE!!!"

Donatello gritted his teeth in pain as he was thrown hard onto the floor. Two other guys looked at him in amusement, wondering where the heck he came from. One of the boys looked him up and down in pure awe.

"Why, this is the greatest scientific discovery I have ever seen before in my life! Imagine, a breed of walking, talking amphibians!"

"Not only that, but he's going to make us filthy rich!!"

Donatello looked at the three boys, obviously scared for his life. The one that brought him here didn't have an intelligent bone in his body, and now they were going to sell him out for money. He was in hell, pure and simple, and there was no way out.

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Hey guys, sorry for the long gap in updates!! I wanted to get this chapter out there, because I was sad to see this story gather dust! Please review, and leave any suggestions for future chapters. I'm thinking of Dora for a later chapter, but please if you guys have any other suggestions, please tell me!! Thanks so much, and Happy Easter!! The next chapter will be Ed, Edd, n' Eddy. Imagine Donatello around these three… ta ha…


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